Happy New Year!!

     So it's the first day of the new year! Welcom 2012! I decided to come up with a bunch of resolutions for the new year like most everyone does. When I was reflecting on that, I came upon this in my facebook news feed: " Don’t allow another negative word toward yourself come out of your mouth. Celebrate who God made you to be. Start meditating on the fact that you are God's masterpiece. You are one of a kind, equipped and anointed. You are God's very own creation." This is soo true! I am not saying that you should never try to strive to more Christlike or a better person that treats others better, but one should take the time to be thankful for what they are already blessed with.
    
     I have decided this new year to improve upon the things I am already supposed to be doing, but do it better! As most of you know my daughter is bipolar. Having someone in your family requires a lot of work and I have to be honest in saying that I have been downright lazy about some things. Well, that stops today. The second is that I have always been an "on the fence" Christian. This year, I will connect with Jesus everyday and not make him the distant relative that I never keep in touch with. The third, ( I like doing things in three's I dunno why, there IS a method to the madness.) is not so much to lose weight and look like a model, but just to be healthy. Eat healthy, live healthy.

     I stayed up way to late last night, so this day is off to a slow start. Thank God, that I can attend church online. I am moving back to San Diego in June, and the church I was a member of before I left was The Rock Church. I LOVE that church. The worship service was amazing today, and it was great to be able to share my resolution with other Christians and recieve encouragement. By the way, if anyone happens not to skip this blog immediately, and actually reads it, please let me know if I can pray for you or someone in any way. If you do not want to post it in a reply on here, please feel free to e-mail me. I believe it is posted on here somewhere, if not I can send it to you.

     I did not go to a pulic event to ring in the new year, I went to a friends house and had some quality friend time. It felt really good to just hang out, and not have to get all gussied up in uncomfortable shoes, in an outfit that requires SPANX, just my comfy cotton clothes. I do now and then like to get "dressed up", perhaps I will do that next NYE, but last night was just what I needed. I thank God that I was able to return safely home. I really enjoyed strangers that I have never met before wishing me a happy new year and a "be safe" to go with it. The constant concern from stranger to stranger, friend to friend was very comforting. Here are a couple of pictures from two new friends I made. The puppy is named Norma Jean and is as cute as she looks. The second is named Brodi and was such a good dog. She was totally rocking her 80's doggie knitted sweater, she was just missing her leg warmers. I hope you all had a memorable night as well.

                                                                 Peace & Love!

 

Roller Coaster!

      I guess it is true. Life indeed is a roller coaster. You  have your ups and your downs. Today started as an up at work for me, then Loralai had a "better" day at school. The down is the man I am in love with pays me no attention. I am not a needy person, I would however like to converse with the person I am in a relationship with for a few minutes a day. Is that too much to ask? I think not. I have left a few voice mails and no return calls. This seems to be the norm these days.

Why do I put up with this. I feel I deserve better. I deserve to be in a relationship with a man that is as in to me as I am into him and I just don't feel that anymore with Chris. It's heartbreaking. On the up side, I am having girls movie night with my daughter. We are watching Matilda and eating spaghetti and having some good old bonding time and I love it! These moments are so precious to me and I cherish these times. The love I get from her makes the downs of the never ending roller coaster ride seem real brief! Thank you God for that!!

Yeah...This is Good!

      So, yesterday was not too bad at all, thank God. That is on my end at work I mean. Loralai did not have a good day again yesterday. So this makes everyday this week she has not had a good day at school. She continues to disrupt her class, say "no"! to her teacher and is not benefiting from the learning process. However, I will not pull her out, but continue to take her to school and just take a deep breath and pray that today will be better.

Challenging Tuesday

Yes, Tuesday was challenging in mind and spirit, but it is because of my faith in God and my positive energy that I was able to get through it emotionally unscathed. So, something a lot of people don't know about me it that I have a five year old daughter that not only has ADHD, but has recently been diagnosed with being bipolar.

She has been on a generic form of Ritalin as well as an antidepressant. I had decided a month ago to take her off her meds to see if my young child truly needs these medications. This past Tuesday, she was sent to the principals office because she was running out of her classroom. She was then left unsupervised long enough to climb on a chair and fall off of it injuring herself. It was then suggested by the principal that perhaps Loralai is not ready for school just yet and that she should return in the fall.

I was very upset. Was this principal kicking my daughter out because of her behavior? Could they do that? Well, I got in touch with and agency that serves as advocated for parents with children who have special needs. I am so fortune to have been able to be helped from these knowledgeable individuals. They informed me that yes, Loralai does have the right to go to school and no, she should not be sent home till the fall due to her behavior. They also advised that I write a letter to her principal stating just that. So I did.

Again, I thank God and my choice to have a positive attitude even in stressful situations to get me through the "tough times". My hope is that I will be able to carry on with this type of mental state. I wonder if this is the metamorphosis of a clueless girl perhaps becoming a more wise girl?

Yeah For Mondays!

What a blessed day today!! I stuck to my 5am wake up and did Yoga, and took all the time necessary to get properly ready for work. I even had breakfast ya'll!! I can't remember the last time I had breakfast. You know this discipline thing is sure paying off for me. Which makes me wonder, why have I been soo resistant before? Have I truly been that lazy? Ok, all right, you don't need to answer that! Haha!

I decided today to smile a lot, have compassion where I usually don't and to choose to have a great day, and you know what? I had the most awesome Monday that I have had in a long time! It wasn't anything spectacular by any means. It was just a typical Monday, but it was the attitude that I had about that typical Monday that turned into SUPERBOWL MONDAY!!

I also received something unexpected today, and I like to attribute it to the positive attitude I am having. It's like that Namaste thing I am learning, the light in my is reflecting by the light in others. Of course, I know that life is not perfect and it is more akin to a roller coaster and right now I am on an "up", but even when I am headed down, I shall still choose to look up.

Have a great night everyone. Peace & Love! - Cat

Hello 2011!!

Well, this year is definitely off to an "interesting" start. I am actually excited though. I really think this year will be a lot better for me as I have done a lot of growing the previous year. Most important, I have finally realized my self worth. I will refuse to "settle" for what I consider less than. I owe myself that and also I feel that I will be a good role model for my daughter in doing so.

I am also finally taking care of myself on the outside as well. I have made a decision to eat well and do some kind of exercise this year. I know, I know, people always have this sort of attitude at the beginning of the year and then they lose this positive energy mid January. Well, one of my resolutions is to be more disciplined and through that I will hopefully follow through on the goals that I set for myself. We'll see how it goes I guess won't we?

Everyday this year, ( there has been two days so far), I have done yoga. I really like the way that it relaxes me in mind and spirit. The thing I don't like is my inability to do certain poses as my fat roll on my belly gets in the way. I am positive however that this will get better as I strive for a better physical me!! I am sooo psyched!! Why is it you have to be 30 something before you actually feel like you finally have your stuff together. Anyway, I feel great and I will choose happiness.

That is what I wish for all of you, for you to choose happiness. Whatever your beliefs are, and we all have a variety out there, the one thing that we can all do the same is choose to be positive. Try it! I mean really, what do you have to lose? Love and Peace to you all!!

-Cat

Hey You!

Well hello there my little blog. I haven't seen you in a while. How've you been? Lovely to hear. Me? Oh, well, pull up a chair and I will tell you. So, you remember my breakup with Chris and how splendid that has been going for me. Anyhow, the silver lining in it all is the fact that I have once again come back to God and have a different love story to blog about now. Remember that old adage, "Be careful for what you wish for 'cause you just might get it"? Well, that my dear bloggie has been the theme of this latest chapter of mi vida.

After I broke up with Chris,I left Yuba City and moved back to Chico where I now reside with my sister. I would wake up early to pack up Lollie and I and head off to work a 8 hour shift at a preschool. True, I had been praying for God to give me direction: on whether I should stay there at the Yuba preschool or start looking for a job in Chico. "Please God, please tell me what YOU want me to do, wherever you want me to go Lord, I will go. Please, please ,please Lord I need your help now, bless me with direction and give me some guidance". Yup, that was my prayer. Oh boy did he deliver. I am now unemployed. Yeah, you read that right. I have lost my job at the preschool in Yuba City. So now, I am job hunting in Chico.

Normally, I would feel really bad about something like this.I would beat myself up a lot, wallow in my own self pity, and use all the negative energy inside as a validation for eating all the Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia and pork fried rice I wanted. But not THIS time. Yeah, I'll be honest, at first I was a little scared, but then I remembered the scripture I had found during one of my morning studies:

"..do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous.
This is what the LORD will do to all the enemies you are going to fight". -Joshua 10:25

There it was right there. The morning I wrote that on a simple piece of note paper and taped it to the back of my front door, I had just a simple idea of daily encouragement, but I had no idea it would also serve as God's voice to me on this very situation. My heart is beating rapidly as I am typing this. I battle with the devil every day, every minute. I know he is trying to keep me down. I am eternally grateful that I have God on my side, holding my hand, being my spiritual father and best friend. Thank You Lord. I love you soo much. It is this realization that gives me the courage and strength to, as John Wesley put it so simply, have a "cheerful  patience" to see what God wants me to do next. Yeah, I got this! Much Love to you all, and especially you my dear Bloggie. xoxo