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Well hello there my little blog. I haven't seen you in a while. How've you been? Lovely to hear. Me? Oh, well, pull up a chair and I will tell you. So, you remember my breakup with Chris and how splendid that has been going for me. Anyhow, the silver lining in it all is the fact that I have once again come back to God and have a different love story to blog about now. Remember that old adage, "Be careful for what you wish for 'cause you just might get it"? Well, that my dear bloggie has been the theme of this latest chapter of mi vida.
After I broke up with Chris,I left Yuba City and moved back to Chico where I now reside with my sister. I would wake up early to pack up Lollie and I and head off to work a 8 hour shift at a preschool. True, I had been praying for God to give me direction: on whether I should stay there at the Yuba preschool or start looking for a job in Chico. "Please God, please tell me what YOU want me to do, wherever you want me to go Lord, I will go. Please, please ,please Lord I need your help now, bless me with direction and give me some guidance". Yup, that was my prayer. Oh boy did he deliver. I am now unemployed. Yeah, you read that right. I have lost my job at the preschool in Yuba City. So now, I am job hunting in Chico.
Normally, I would feel really bad about something like this.I would beat myself up a lot, wallow in my own self pity, and use all the negative energy inside as a validation for eating all the Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia and pork fried rice I wanted. But not THIS time. Yeah, I'll be honest, at first I was a little scared, but then I remembered the scripture I had found during one of my morning studies:
"..do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous.
This is what the LORD will do to all the enemies you are going to fight". -Joshua 10:25
There it was right there. The morning I wrote that on a simple piece of note paper and taped it to the back of my front door, I had just a simple idea of daily encouragement, but I had no idea it would also serve as God's voice to me on this very situation. My heart is beating rapidly as I am typing this. I battle with the devil every day, every minute. I know he is trying to keep me down. I am eternally grateful that I have God on my side, holding my hand, being my spiritual father and best friend. Thank You Lord. I love you soo much. It is this realization that gives me the courage and strength to, as John Wesley put it so simply, have a "cheerful patience" to see what God wants me to do next. Yeah, I got this! Much Love to you all, and especially you my dear Bloggie. xoxo
This 4th of July was pretty awesome due to the fact that I have some good people I call friends. It has been hard since Chris and I have split. For some reason holidays have a way of making a single person feel like a pile of poop. The plans I did have for this holiday were supposed to be with Chris and the kids and frankly that is all I could think about. That is until my awesome friends and family stepped in and decided I would NOT sit and home and brood, but to get out and do what I do best. Laugh! Thank You Amy for the BBQ and thank you DD and Mom for the tear jerker Toy Story 3 movie after.
It's amazing what a good night's sleep can do for you. Sorry for all the mellow dramatics yesterday everyone, but I did in fact let myself down. However, today is a NEW day! I am excited to start my new life in this new direction WITH God and my Lil' Lollie. Today, I am staying home as I have lost my voice, but am going to be organizing my new residence, and have tea with an old friend today. Lollie is going to go see Toy Story 3 with Grandma, so everyone is going to have a great day and I hope you do too! GBU!!
So, I have done it again. Right now as we speak I am wet vacuuming my pride off the floor. There are two entities that live in this body o' mine: 1)"Somewhat Intelligent Gurl", 2)"Utterly Stupid Gurl". Utterly Stupid Gurl has struck again. Somewhat intelligent girl was screaming at the top of her lungs (what does that adage mean? Conversation for another time?) to NOT go there. Well despite what Intelligent girl said, Stupid Girl dove, no Belly flopped into a humiliating situation that is thank God finally come to an end. Whew!!!! So what now? So far I have had sisters in Christ to pick me up off the floor and wipe away my VERY smeared mascara and remind me of Christ's unyielding Love, Grace and Mercy. I can't help but feel terribly disappointed in myself, but I still have the courage to get up and go at it again, only this time seeking Christ first. We'll see how it goes. I will be posting my journey-BOTH the good and bad. Pray for me. Goodnight Lovlies!
Bet you haven't seen this amateur of a blog! Ha! Well here I am. So this is what blogging feels like eh? I think I will like this. I felt a need to start blogging not necessarily for people to read ( although that would be flattering), but I think of an online diary for myself to reflect on my many "adventures". My life is very interesting, or at least I think so. This will be a great opportunity to share and remember the everyday things that I often forget. Okay, my child is FINALLY asleep, so I now can start some laundry and look at others' blogs. Goodnight all...Tomorrow is Hump Day! Woot! Woot!
