skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I guess it is true. Life indeed is a roller coaster. You have your ups and your downs. Today started as an up at work for me, then Loralai had a "better" day at school. The down is the man I am in love with pays me no attention. I am not a needy person, I would however like to converse with the person I am in a relationship with for a few minutes a day. Is that too much to ask? I think not. I have left a few voice mails and no return calls. This seems to be the norm these days.
Why do I put up with this. I feel I deserve better. I deserve to be in a relationship with a man that is as in to me as I am into him and I just don't feel that anymore with Chris. It's heartbreaking. On the up side, I am having girls movie night with my daughter. We are watching Matilda and eating spaghetti and having some good old bonding time and I love it! These moments are so precious to me and I cherish these times. The love I get from her makes the downs of the never ending roller coaster ride seem real brief! Thank you God for that!!
So, yesterday was not too bad at all, thank God. That is on my end at work I mean. Loralai did not have a good day again yesterday. So this makes everyday this week she has not had a good day at school. She continues to disrupt her class, say "no"! to her teacher and is not benefiting from the learning process. However, I will not pull her out, but continue to take her to school and just take a deep breath and pray that today will be better.
Yes, Tuesday was challenging in mind and spirit, but it is because of my faith in God and my positive energy that I was able to get through it emotionally unscathed. So, something a lot of people don't know about me it that I have a five year old daughter that not only has ADHD, but has recently been diagnosed with being bipolar.
She has been on a generic form of Ritalin as well as an antidepressant. I had decided a month ago to take her off her meds to see if my young child truly needs these medications. This past Tuesday, she was sent to the principals office because she was running out of her classroom. She was then left unsupervised long enough to climb on a chair and fall off of it injuring herself. It was then suggested by the principal that perhaps Loralai is not ready for school just yet and that she should return in the fall.
I was very upset. Was this principal kicking my daughter out because of her behavior? Could they do that? Well, I got in touch with and agency that serves as advocated for parents with children who have special needs. I am so fortune to have been able to be helped from these knowledgeable individuals. They informed me that yes, Loralai does have the right to go to school and no, she should not be sent home till the fall due to her behavior. They also advised that I write a letter to her principal stating just that. So I did.
Again, I thank God and my choice to have a positive attitude even in stressful situations to get me through the "tough times". My hope is that I will be able to carry on with this type of mental state. I wonder if this is the metamorphosis of a clueless girl perhaps becoming a more wise girl?
What a blessed day today!! I stuck to my 5am wake up and did Yoga, and took all the time necessary to get properly ready for work. I even had breakfast ya'll!! I can't remember the last time I had breakfast. You know this discipline thing is sure paying off for me. Which makes me wonder, why have I been soo resistant before? Have I truly been that lazy? Ok, all right, you don't need to answer that! Haha!
I decided today to smile a lot, have compassion where I usually don't and to choose to have a great day, and you know what? I had the most awesome Monday that I have had in a long time! It wasn't anything spectacular by any means. It was just a typical Monday, but it was the attitude that I had about that typical Monday that turned into SUPERBOWL MONDAY!!
I also received something unexpected today, and I like to attribute it to the positive attitude I am having. It's like that Namaste thing I am learning, the light in my is reflecting by the light in others. Of course, I know that life is not perfect and it is more akin to a roller coaster and right now I am on an "up", but even when I am headed down, I shall still choose to look up.
Have a great night everyone. Peace & Love! - Cat
Well, this year is definitely off to an "interesting" start. I am actually excited though. I really think this year will be a lot better for me as I have done a lot of growing the previous year. Most important, I have finally realized my self worth. I will refuse to "settle" for what I consider less than. I owe myself that and also I feel that I will be a good role model for my daughter in doing so.
I am also finally taking care of myself on the outside as well. I have made a decision to eat well and do some kind of exercise this year. I know, I know, people always have this sort of attitude at the beginning of the year and then they lose this positive energy mid January. Well, one of my resolutions is to be more disciplined and through that I will hopefully follow through on the goals that I set for myself. We'll see how it goes I guess won't we?
Everyday this year, ( there has been two days so far), I have done yoga. I really like the way that it relaxes me in mind and spirit. The thing I don't like is my inability to do certain poses as my fat roll on my belly gets in the way. I am positive however that this will get better as I strive for a better physical me!! I am sooo psyched!! Why is it you have to be 30 something before you actually feel like you finally have your stuff together. Anyway, I feel great and I will choose happiness.
That is what I wish for all of you, for you to choose happiness. Whatever your beliefs are, and we all have a variety out there, the one thing that we can all do the same is choose to be positive. Try it! I mean really, what do you have to lose? Love and Peace to you all!!
-Cat
